I will learn from my mistakes....

& i will! Ive been taking things hard, but today (during my 8 hr. shift of complete boredum...) I have looked at what I have. Yes we are short on money... its life and we will deal with that, we will cut back on what we can but things could be much worse right. I have 2 wonderful boys that i love with all my heart. A wonderful husband that is trying his best to fix my mistake, and unlike everyone else is on my side and understands everything. I love you baby. So enough of the sulking and all that stuff... Im gonna try and just be happy.

On monday me and the boys will be trying to get into more play groups, they make me happy. Not only for me to met more ppl and try to get out of my shyness but jacob does great with the kids. I really need friends in my life and with me being so shy it just doesnt work out, I see everyone with their friends and feel like im inturding into something i dont belong in.

The boys are doing ok, john is more active and is smiling and laughing... its so cute! Jacob for some reason hasnt been sleeping well at all... he's been sleeping on my shoulder at night, and if I move him to the center of the bed he wakes up and starts screaming and crying... if he wakes up when i go make john a bottle he will do the same thing... not sure what is wrong with him its been 2 nights of  this.